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姓名:J同學(xué)
錄取結(jié)果：US News 2015 National Universities # 1 普林斯頓大學(xué)（EA）
畢業(yè)學(xué)校: International School in Beijing
GPA:4.10/4.0
TOEFL: NA
SAT: 2300
SAT II SAT 科目考試:
Literature 文學(xué): 780
Biology-Molecular生物: 800
Math 數(shù)學(xué)2: 800
AP: NA
Activities/課外活動(dòng) Music 音樂: Instrumental-Solo Violinist小提琴獨(dú)奏者 Instrumental-Concert Orchestra; Section Leader/Concert Master 交響樂團(tuán)管弦樂；部門負(fù)責(zé)人/樂隊(duì)首席
Debate/Speech 辯論/演講: HS MUN; Pres. YA; GA 5; Secretary General模擬聯(lián)合國(guó)；秘書長(zhǎng)
Career Oriented 職業(yè)導(dǎo)向活動(dòng): Chengde Medical College Hospital; Intern Chengde醫(yī)學(xué)院醫(yī)院等。
Personal Statement/個(gè)人陳述: J focused on how the violin provided an outlet for him to relax and escape from his hyper-analyzing self as the Music carried him away into another space.
J同學(xué)談?wù)摿诵√崆偈侨绾问顾潘傻模绾螌⑺麖母叨染o張的自我思考中帶離，音樂將他帶向了另外一個(gè)空間。
Counselor’s comments/顧問(wèn)評(píng)語(yǔ): When I first met J and during our initial meetings, he clearly conveyed that he was not in need of any help in the college application process as he fully intended to build the perfect image he had carefully crafted in high school of a testing machine and analytical genius. He strove to maintain this facade during our first few meetings even as I explained that he needed to connect with the admissions officers on a personal level and that no one is perfect.
J’s first personal statement briefly highlighted pseudo-weaknesses in MUN before ending with a triumphant description of his success in this arena as he compared himself to a victorious gladiator. As I looked J in the eyes and explained that he was still hiding and that he needed to be honest with me and to show me his real thoughts and struggles that lay behind his stellar resume, he first looked away and defiantly claimed that he was being honest and that I was mistaken.
Only after heated discussion and several extended conversations where I prodded him to simply share his thoughts without pre-filtering everything he said did J display some of his fears, goals and passions. We used these discussions to craft a personal statement that focused on the details of his hyper-analyzing tendencies and recounted very personal examples. We scrapped the literary tropes that shrouded the illustration of J’s character as I challenged J to use his experiences to illustrate the character that lay behind his achievements. Although never one to overreact, I could hear the excitement in J’s voice as we discussed his hopes and dreams for his freshman year at Princeton.
我的申請(qǐng)是不需要協(xié)助的。這是J同學(xué)第一次見面時(shí)，他明確傳達(dá)給我的信息。因?yàn)樗呀?jīng)打算在申請(qǐng)中呈現(xiàn)一個(gè)完美的自己：善于考試和天才般地分析能力，這兩樣是高中學(xué)習(xí)賦予他的。在最初的幾次交談中，他一直努力地維護(hù)著自己的優(yōu)勢(shì)，盡管我告訴他申請(qǐng)的時(shí)候應(yīng)該展示自己的個(gè)性，人無(wú)完人。
J同學(xué)的第一篇個(gè)人陳述寫的是他的模擬聯(lián)合國(guó)活動(dòng)，開篇簡(jiǎn)短地強(qiáng)調(diào)了一些自己的特點(diǎn)，看似弱點(diǎn)實(shí)為優(yōu)點(diǎn)。結(jié)尾他非常得意地描述了自己在這個(gè)舞臺(tái)上的成功，因?yàn)榘炎约罕扔鞒梢粋€(gè)凱旋的角斗士。我看著J的眼睛，告訴他仍然在隱藏，他應(yīng)該開誠(chéng)布公地向我展示他簡(jiǎn)歷背后的真實(shí)的想法和掙扎。但是J同學(xué)把目光移到別處，并反抗說(shuō)：“我就是很誠(chéng)實(shí)的，你誤會(huì)了！”
接下來(lái)一番激烈地討論和深入的交談，我試圖刺激他不加過(guò)濾地說(shuō)出自己的想法，這樣J同學(xué)才肯說(shuō)出了自己的一些恐懼，目標(biāo)和興趣愛好。接下來(lái)我們利用討論出來(lái)的素材重新創(chuàng)作個(gè)人陳述，我們選用了非常個(gè)性化的事例，細(xì)節(jié)描述環(huán)節(jié)充分體現(xiàn)了J同學(xué)過(guò)人的分析能力。我們拋棄了那些掩蓋了J同學(xué)性格的很書面的修辭，試圖讓他用經(jīng)歷去印證成就背后的人格。盡管J同學(xué)不動(dòng)聲色，當(dāng)我們討論他的心愿和夢(mèng)想的時(shí)候，我已經(jīng)聽到了他語(yǔ)氣中的興奮。
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